Posted by: shatteringsamskaras | June 5, 2016

I Took a Leap of Faith…


And I came to this place that, although it is simply a nice home in suburban New York, will always live on in my heart as an enchanted fairy castle.
I took a leap of faith and I met half a dozen of the most amazing women, and sat with them feeling like a kid at the grownups table, and marveled as they showed me their hearts.
I took a leap of faith and shared my own weird little heart, and felt complete acceptance and even a hint of delight. I felt heard and accepted, and learned that maybe I actually can’t get it wrong after all.
I took a leap of faith and began not just talking about but investing in a dream I’ve had since the days when I could stand in the bookstore my grandmother had in her basement and marvel at these wondrous miracles people call books.
I took a leap of faith and discovered that this voice that lives inside my head and is, after all, just me is not something to be dismissed or denied. It is a clear strong voice with something to say, and that there are people (interesting and sophisticated and smart and clever people) who are interested in bearing witness to what it has to say. To what I have to say.
I took a leap of faith and saw the sacred mountains, and discovered that I do have the courage to go on a journey in their direction, even when the other mice in my village wonder why I’m not keeping up my end of the collecting and gathering and collecting and gathering.
I took a leap of faith and decided to begin to believe that my story is important and valuable and that it’s part of my service to bring that story to light in the world. I decided to believe that my story is part of the reason I’m here, and telling it clearly and cleanly and bravely is as important as serving in other ways (like loading the dishwasher or doing the laundry). I land solidly understanding that my investment in my story matters, and that finding the time and bandwidth to create and share the story is important to my own soul, and that my most important service includes nurturing the part of myself that can birth this story into the world.
I venture back into a familiar world with an unfamiliar opening in my heart, grateful for the delicious nurturing I have experienced here and committed to finding ways to nurture my own self along my writing journey. Mothering myself and my story will be a part of the work, and I leave with a little more understanding of how to do this important thing.
I took a leap of faith. It will not be the last one I take.

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